Ep. #19- Brenda Jacobsen
Golden Nugget of Wisdom from Brenda
Audio Clip Found @ 1:18:19
Everybody is familiar with the concept of being open and closed minded. But I think we get it wrong in that we assume people are either one or the other permanently. Sure, some people have a tendency to accept new ideas easier than others, but it’s much more complicated than that. After my conversation with Brenda, I believe it’d be helpful to start looking at open and closed mindedness as a state that is constantly fluctuating and temporary. Our willingness to accept advice, or to learn something new depends on our mood, our interest level, our energy, our state.
It’s almost as if our minds remain closed the majority of the time and need to be pried open. And the lever that can be used to pry it open is CHOICE.
Brenda mentions that often people are closed minded towards certain subjects or ideas until they are faced with a sudden tragedy which forces them to SEARCH for answers. Only in the search for answers does their mind open up and allow entertainment of ideas that it was once closed to. Ideas that were once regarded as “too out there” or “woo-woo stuff.”
The search for answers was in their complete control, because they actively sought it out, it wasn’t forced on them… they let their guard down, they CHOSE it.
Even during conversations with loved ones our minds tend to be closed up and sealed tight, unless gently opened by them. And you guessed it, it can be opened up by simply giving a choice of whether or not they want to hear our advice! As soon as they accept our invitation to offer advice, they’re CHOOSING to hear it, it’s not being forced on them. I’m convinced that this can save a lot of silent- treatments worldwide.
If we can all just learn that our baseline state is one of closed mindedness, but that it can be opened with offering choice, we can build relationships with less resentment, less frustration, which will only leave room for more love.